Frequently Answered Questions
answered by Bubbanuts (Juju's slaveboy & typist)
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Q: Is Juju a boy or a girl? |
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A: No one really knows. We call him a he, but consider it one of life's
unanswerable questions - you'll sleep better that way. I once lifted his tail and took a peek, but I couldn't make "heads or tails" of what I saw. The ensuing psychological trauma
still haunts me to this day. Look away! Look away!
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Q:
Is there a way to go directly to a specific section of GoldfishLegs.com? |
A: Funny you should ask! Out of sheer coincidence there is:deals.GoldfishLegs.com
--> DEALS page
shop.GoldfishLegs.com --> SHOP page
free.GoldfishLegs.com
--> FREE page
bowl.GoldfishLegs.com --> Juju's Bowl!
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Q:
When you say Juju's opinionated, does that mean he's close-minded? |
A: The world Juju lives in is just that - his
world. Consideration for other's tastes, opinions, and points of view is a foreign concept to Juju. Juju's a bucker. He bucks the trends. Juju is oblivious to whatever is
currently trendy, "Hot!", or "DA BOMB!". Trends are fueled by hype. And hype is evil.
Did that answer your question?
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Q: What's with the maple leaf? |
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A: Juju coerced me into putting up a whole separate page on the subject.
Coincidentally enough it's called "What's with the maple leaf?
"
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Q: What kinda name is "Juju" anyway? |
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A: I can see how the name "Juju" would befuddle the average-minded fish. What
kinda freak has only one name, ya' know? This is our most frequently asked question, and in an effort to reduce the overflow of mail from the millions and millions of Juju's fans, and
the non-stop phone calls by tabloid reporters hoping to find Juju's legendary nude photo shoot, I have been authorized by the Grand Fishness him/herself to reveal his/her true
name: Juju, The Fish Outta Nowhere
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Q: Juju's posed nude? Ooo! Where can I buy the pictures?
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A:
GoldfishLegs.com will soon open a full-featured, database-driven, co-located e-commerce sister site where
visitors will be able to purchase all their favourite Juju memorabilia. We're currently waiting for our OC-192 fiber optic lines to be installed - anything less would not be able to handle
the millions and millions of brain-washed fans salivating for cool Juju accessories and authentic fin-stamped merchandise. Our biggest seller is expected to be Juju's pin-up calendar
entitled "Juju Exposed: Love in the Bowl".
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Q:
I'm not convinced. What it's in for me? |
A: But wait! Order now and receive this Juju's Secrets Revealed! booklet
absolutely free! This fascinating booklet uncovers -- for the first time ever -- the compelling results of long-forgotten Top Secret Military Experiments such as:
- the secret to losing 2½ pounds in less than 12 minutes - and keeping it off!
- rust-proofing your car with a box of Smarties, an old toothbrush, and half a pound of whale blubber!
- Learn to Speak Fish While You Sleep in 17 Easy Lessons!
Banned in 47 countries! Order today! CALL NOW! 1-800-IMA-FISH |
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